After barely ma(r)king it though this term (by the skin of my teeth), I went to see my grandmother yesterday for the first time in many fevered days of work.** I brought her a biography of Alice Roosevelt Longworth, Teddy's daughter.
By way of thanks, she told me a story: once Alice Roosevelt Longworth walked into the bank they both used off Massachusetts Avenue. It was surrounded by police cars and filled with officers. What is this all about?, said Alice to my grandmother. Oh, there's just been a robbery, my grandmother told her.
"Wait," said I, "you walked into the aftermath of a bank heist?"
"Oh no, I was there for it."
A roll of the eyes. "What, isn't this story good enough for you? You want me to improve on the details?"
So what I am basically saying is that as soon as I have finished my children's book based on an insane pair of black and polydactyl cats, "The Adventures of Bread and Yet," I'm going to embark on writing a buddy cop/sleuthing series starring Alice Roosevelt and my Nonna. I imagine them solving crimes with arch indifference, withering criminals with swift, insightful skepticism about their upbringing and politics.
Ah, but Dan tells me I've forgotten to include the punchline to my grandmother's story. Here it is:
"What is this all about?" asked the former first daughter.
"Oh, there's just been a robbery," said my grandmother.
"Mmm," Alice quipped, "It's a shame we missed it."
**(Seriously, this semester was a long nightmare.
You may have noticed my blog and social media absence.
I'm hoping that next term, when I will have a third as many students
and one fewer classes, will be less tormented and isolating.)